The morons that follow in this list should NEVER be allowed to spread their sheer stupidity and insane ideas across social media. They should be banned for life.
Hey, it worked for Steve Jobs. Right?Via CaseyAndWhatNot
When you REALLY don’t like your neighbors…Via kitehkiteh
This lady tried to cremate her pet in an oven…
There’s literally one in your hand…Via smosh
“I was engaged to a 7 year old on 9/11”
Thanks for the update.Via FAIL Blog
You sure did dude…
Her horse weighs as much as an elephant?Via lil__jimmy
Stop letting this woman buy cats…Via SquidGeneral10
Yeah, looks great.
Church lady needs an IMMACULATE transportation miracle…Via goldbricker83
Better watch out ladies…Via Hannah Grant
HE DID IT!Via katiecski
The HR department must be internally screaming…
Flat earth > familyVia YourFavGuyStef
“Straight from the tap.”Via piximus
That totally happened.Via dearzoez
How dare innocent people walk across the street…Via FlyinSteak
Ok this is Twitter. Whatever.
This guy who was concerned for his health…Via Bjornstellar
DHMO (Dihydrogen Monoxide) = H20
THE DOPPLERVia TulsaOUfan
Wait. What?Via flamandss
Someone needs to check on this edgelord
Fiona the hippo, a celebrity, will probably not be making an appearance at her first birthday party. But that’s okay. It’s still a very good party.
Per zoo policy, hippos are only allowed to venture outdoors in temperatures above 50 degrees. So although it’s pretty warm for mid-February in Cincinnati — high 40s — Fiona and her mom, Bibi, will likely spend party day (Saturday) in their cozy indoor habitat.
Celebrating Fiona is always a good idea, though, so zoo patrons are already out in droves to sign her birthday card, eat cake and ice cream, adorn themselves with temporary Fiona tattoos, take photos in a Fiona-themed photobooth, and participate in other “hippo themed activities.”
The first 2,000 families to show up also reportedly received Fiona bath mats. A dream!
Didn’t make the party? Fiona’s actual birthday isn’t until January 24, so you still have time to send her a card.
Remember that oh so fun game Jenga? Ya, the one where you build a full tower and one by one take out pieces until someone takes the wrong one and it all comes falling down?! Now you’re probably smiling and thinking of all those fun memories! Well, luckily for the cat lovers and jenga lovers out there… there is a new game which sorta combines them both!
Cat Pile is often associated with the classic game Jenga, however Comma’s creation is played in reverse. Instead of already having a tower the point of the game is to start at the base and juggle the wooden teak pieces atop one another. No matter how precarious they may seem, the last person to successfully stack a kitty without it falling will be the winner! Even better? When you’re done playing and don’t feel like cleaning up, the cats double as modern home decor and make a fun accessory!
One set of Cat Pile includes six kittens that measure approximately two inches tall by three inches wide by a half-inch thick.
For independent and non-profit outlets, small shifts in algorithms as Mark Zuckerberg just introduced can pose an existential threat
It cooked it all by itself.Image: Stan Schroeder/Mashable
About a week ago, my wife and I ate a meal that was entirely prepared by a robotic chef.
The GammaChef — a machine akin to a large coffee maker — did everything on its own. It heated the pot and added the ingredients — beef steak chunks, pasta, mushrooms, water, oil, seasonings and sauces — then stirred them until the meal was done. To my surprise, the food was delicious. The meat was perfectly cooked and tender, the pasta was al dente, and the aromas and flavors were rich. It was perfect.
Dražen Drnas and Đulijano Nola, the two Croatian entrepreneurs that built the GammaChef prototype and intend to launch it in the near future, weren’t surprised.
“We’ve pitted GammaChef against an actual human cook four times already, in a blind taste test. Every single time, our robot won — easily,” Nola told me during the 30 or so minutes it took for the robot to prepare the meal.
The meal preparation started with a verbal command, through an Amazon Echo that was wirelessly connected to the machine. We could have also done it through the mobile phone app, which is far along in development, or through the built-in touchscreen on the device itself.
Once the ingredients, which come in plastic cartridges of various sizes, are loaded into the GammaChef, you can have it cook even if you’re not around. Let’s say you’re returning home from work at 5 p.m., you could ask the GammaChef to have your meal ready by 5:10 p.m.
Suddenly, I’m no longer skeptical of a robot cooking my food. I’m interested.
The two entrepreneurs are based in Croatia’s town of Split, in the region of Dalmatia, widely regarded for its excellent food and wines. The duo’s background is tech, not food: One previous project of theirs is a real estate search engine, another is a local Groupon clone. First and foremost, they see the GammaChef, which has been in development for a few years now, as a fun challenge.
“Everyone who hears about the GammaChef thinks there’s some big secret about its development. But there’s none. In fact, it’s the thousands of little tweaks we’ve done that make it good,” says Drnas. “See this?” he says as he points to the silicone pot stirrer. “If it just went in regular circles, it wouldn’t be any good. We hired a mathematician to design a pattern for the stirrer so that the meal is always regularly stirred,” he says.
The GammaChef isn’t your typical humanoid butler. There are no big robot arms making a mess in your kitchen. Instead, it’s like a large food processor that’s almost fully automated. Once you’ve placed some food cartridges into the designated area on the top right area of the machine, it will scan them all to see which recipes are available. When that’s done, you can choose the recipe, and it’ll start cooking. You’ll also need to add the main ingredients — meet, fish, pasta, and such — into the three large containers on the top left, but that’s all you have to do; the robot will take care of everything else by itself. It cannot make you a steak or bake a cake; it’s limited to meals that can be cooked in a pot. Soup, goulash, pasta, brodetto, risotto — the selection is larger than you might think and potentially includes thousands of recipes.
“Look, we could tell you a thousand technical details about how we made this or that part work. But the main thing that makes this thing good is this: It cooks really, really tasty meals. Every single time, without errors,” Nola says.
He’s right. Had I been served the same meal at a restaurant, I would’ve sent my compliments to the chef. And in hindsight, it’s not that surprising. Cooking a good stew boils down (no pun intended) to adding good ingredients into the pot at the right time, at the right temperature, and then stirring until it’s done. Once you have the recipe nailed down, a machine can replicate it in exactly the same fashion every time, and provide a meal big enough for up to 5 people.
Still, it doesn’t sound like something that will impress anyone who likes to cook — I’ve heard enough stories about “magic” in the kitchen and secret recipes to know that many people will scoff at this level of cooking automation.
“Our robot cooks good food, period. Some people don’t have time to cook. For offices, this might be far more cost-effective than having everyone leave for an expensive lunch or order takeout. In restaurants, the GammaChef could lend a hand to the human cooks. There are lot of scenarios where the GammaChef makes sense,” Nola says.
“The question was: Can a robotic chef cook a good meal? The answer is a resounding “yes.” Everything else comes naturally,” Drnas says. “Everyone who saw it in action is interested in one way or another. Literally everyone.”
The GammaChef is still in development and there are still some details that need to be ironed out, but the founders have one important thing nailed down. They’ve partnered with one of Croatia’s largest food producers, Podravka, which will take care of the food cartridges and their ingredients. “Food is a tough business,” Nola says. “So Podravka’s expertise there is exactly what we needed. We take care of the software and the hardware, they take care of the food.”
The idea is to launch hubs in big cities through which GammaChef owners could order their cartridges and have them delivered to their doorstep. Food is delicate and in some cases spoils easily, so mail order is out of the question for now. “It’s going to be a slow process, but we’ll get there, one city at a time,” says Drnas.
The GammaChef that prepared my lunch is a prototype, one of two in existence. The final product is not on the market and the price hasn’t been set yet but it should be in the $2,000 ballpark. It’s a pretty penny for a household appliance but then again, for someone with limited time and/or cooking knowledge, it could be quite useful; for a small office, it could be a sound investment.
Due to their great senses of smell and hearing, our dogs can perceive things we would usually miss.
That’s why people report their pups alerting before earthquakes and sometimes even medical events. But in our day-to-day lives, they’re just more likely to tell us about the mailman outside or a wild animal outside.
When one man brought his Dachshund to a bachelor party in the woods, there were so many new smells for her to enjoy. What she found, though, surprised them all.
The pup began circling the boat and whimpering. She just wouldn’t leave it alone.
That’s when she started digging and became obsessed with getting under there.
And she found kittens!!!
These little fluff balls were all alone.
The doggo was very motherly toward them, immediately wanting to protect them.
Ugh, my heart can’t take all the love!
The men got a good look at the kitties and decided to rescue them from under the boat.
Any bachelor party with tiny kittens sounds like a great bachelor party to me!
As they said in their Imgur post, where you can see even more pictures, it’s a “boatload of awwwww.”
Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/kittens-under-boat/
The author of Home Fire on how she was transported by Midnights Children and by a flying car and why she turns to Michael Ondaatje for comfort
Goodbye.Image: lili sams/mashable
Instagram has never been my favorite app, perhaps because I love reading words more than staring at photos. But beyond that core element, it’s continued to be the bane of my existence — at least while writing about the tech industry, chatting with friends, and watching the world around me strain to be more “Instagrammable.”
I understand some people — maybe a decent amount of Instagram’s 500 million daily users — are inspired by the photos they see in their feeds. For my colleague Miriam Kramer, her highly curated Instagram account is a much-preferred distraction to the Facebook app. For one of my best friends Lizza Monet Morales, Instagram is part of her career as an actress, TV host, and social media personality.
For me, Instagram is a place of fakeness, humblebrags, and harassment, and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. That’s why when I got an iPhone X for Christmas and started fresh by not restoring from backup, I didn’t bother downloading Instagram.
For some, Instagram is a creative outlet, a place where they find happiness spending hours searching for “Instagrammable” moments, taking the perfect shot, choosing the right filter, thinking up a caption with the appropriate hashtags, and waiting to post at the exact right moment. And then, sometimes they delete it if they don’t get enough “likes,” and okay, that’s their choice. For others, Instagram is just a mindless and relaxing way to start or end their day or to take a break.
For me, it’s a place where I’ve showed off some happy moments of my life, and I don’t really know why. I mean they’re nice memories. It’s like a scrapbook, but why does my scrapbook need to be public? Why does each picture in my scrapbook need a number of likes and the potential for comments?
Let’s take a brief look at my Instagram: 1) Margaritas 2) White House press briefing room 3) Puppy at startup event [and evidence of me wearing the same dress too close together] 4) Me on the beach with an ex 5) A video of Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook’s F8 conference 6) Badge from F8
Okay, so maybe I just suck at Instagram. I’m not one to look for the perfect shot or “Instagrammable” moment. When I do, it’s a tongue-in-cheek move. But what I can tell from myself is that I really don’t need Instagram. These shots would be better kept in my Camera Roll, or if I wanted the world to see them I go to Facebook or go to Flickr or something. I don’t need a public-facing scrapbook of my life, and I want you to ask yourself if you need one too.
Of course, Instagram is not all about you and your feed. It’s where you can keep up with friends or obsessions you have. For me, that’s the dogs of Instagram, but I don’t think I need to have them accessible on my phone at all times. When it comes to friends, I know a lot of mine have moved from sharing Snapchat Stories to Instagram Stories. But I don’t feel like I need to see whatever they’re boasting about via one photo or video.
Instagram Stories isn’t fun, at least not for me. I tried Instagram Stories back in November after a 14-month-long protest. Before I posted my first Instagram Story, I spent an hour with Kay Hsu, the global Instagram lead at the Facebook Creative Shop, at one of Facebook’s offices in New York. She took me through what Facebook calls “Stories School,” a training session the company regularly hosts for marketers.
“Okay, this is going to be really hard, but it’s worth it,” Hsu told me as she explained how to make text have a rainbow gradient.
I found myself saying, “Whoa” and “Cool,” as Hsu walked me through a bunch of the features I may not have discovered as quickly on my own. I experienced the instant gratification, via “likes” and DMs, you get from posting your first Instagram Story. But high engagement comes at a cost. I was quickly reminded my Instagram audience includes young family members.
Yeah, Instagram Stories had a few unique functionalities that I loved using, but what frustrated me the most about Instagram Stories was the pressure I felt with every post. I had myself thinking intently about everything I shared or considered sharing. I was curating posts based on what I deemed “Instagrammable”: order Starbucks, attend a work event at Facebook NY, drink champagne, twirl in a sparkly skirt. Very, uh, basic activities.
All that and there’s just the sour taste that Instagram leaves in my mouth. I personally love using Snapchat, and all of Facebook’s copycat moves annoy me. “How do they sleep at night?” Snap CEO Evan Spiegel’s wife Miranda Kerr asked, referring to Instagram employees, and I agree as I watch Instagram transform into a Snapchat wannabe.
I’m also over the fake followers and bot networks. The black market of Instagram verification where people pay THOUSANDS of dollars to get a blue check from Instagram employees, as I exposed in August, is ridiculous and the fact that Instagram refused to address it on the record with me is BS.
I’m sick of the Instagram algorithm, and the fact that they don’t seem to care so many people would rather have it return to chronological order.
The bra and fitspo ads that invaded my feed, as well as the feed of wonderful human Lauren Hallden, are ridiculous and unnecessary to have in my life.
And I never want to see a comment like this on one of my photos again.
So, I’m done. What about you?
Image: supreme Patty/instagram
Social media has leveled the playing field for stardom. Anyone with a smartphone and a strong will can find themselves with millions of followers, effectively turning their presence and content into a full-fledged business. But a following of millions often comes with a price — like lemon juice in your eyes.
Supreme Patty, a 20-year-old who hails from Daytona, Florida, boasts more than 2.5 million followers on Instagram and can best be described as a modern day version of Johnny Knoxville from MTV’s Jackass. His feed is filled with stunts and skits, most of which put himself in a compromising situations — like squeezing lime juice into his eyes and going snowboarding. That one landed him in the hospital.
He’s also pretty well known for putting random stuff inside of his bong. In August, Patty filled one up with some Slurpee at a 7-Eleven. Patty rips the bong inside the store, then drinks some of the colored sugar ice before running out seemingly without paying. He later smashed the bong.
To celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Patty made a joint using tortillas. He’s also smoke weed using a Bugle chip through his nose, was allegedly arrested in Los Angeles last year for inciting a riot, and smoked a bong using hot wing sauce. Yes, after he was done smoking with the hot sauce, he poured it on a chicken wing and ate it.
You get the point — Patty is using the model a lot of social media stars follow to gain a following: Do ridiculous, often obnoxious things, film it, and post it to social media. And with each video it seems like he gets more and more extreme. Patty started out eating hot dogs really fast. Now he’s getting the Supreme logo tattooed on the inside of his lower lip and smoking weed out of gas cans just a few feet from a pump station.
It should also be noted that some of Patty’s antics are obviously staged. It sort of reminds me of the scripted stunts that used to come out of Vine, but just longer and a little more brutal.
It’s easy to hate on an attention-seeker like Supreme Patty, but there is a side to him that can be quite endearing. Patty’s not the swaggering type you often find among other Instafamous stars and YouTubers. He’ll show himself in vulnerable situations, like going to the doctor for acne treatment. And in what may be the weirdest display of self-deprecation Patty has dubbed himself “the CEO of the Lil Dick Gang.”
Bragging about having a small penis is not what you’d expect from someone trying to “make it.” But Patty does things his own way. And he sort of manages to mock the way everyone else is doing things in the process.
It’s easy to compare Supreme Patty to other social media stars like Jake or Logan Paul. They all rap, sell merch, produce short form video, have a young following, and pull pranks. But Patty is weirder, a bit more extreme, and pushes the limits way more aggressively than most of the stars on YouTube. He’s that annoying kid from high school that was always acting up and getting in trouble, except he’s 20 and he has an audience of 2.5 million people on Instagram.
Love him or hate him Supreme Patty has made a name for himself in a short amount of time, and there’s no sign of him slowing down.
Mashable attempted to speak with Patty, but after setting up an interview he ignored our calls. 😢
Trains around the world are usually just concerned with getting their passengers from A to B. However, certain Japanese trains are being given a new technical feature – the ability to bark like a dog and grunt like a deer.
It sounds totally bizarre, but there’s a very good reason behind it. Deer often cross railway tracks and cause collisions with oncoming trains. Therefore, the Railway Technical Research Institute (RTRI) in Japan decided to devise a plan to help deter the animals from the tracks.
Deer are naturally scared of dogs and flee from the sound of them barking, so the team chose to use this sound. They also used recordings of deer alarm calls, which warn others to flee from danger.
The researchers tested their idea using a playback experiment where they played the sound of a deer snorting for 3 seconds, followed by the sound of dogs barking for 20 seconds. This was conducted on trains taking their normal routes in the early evening and late at night when deer are seen by trains the most.
Interestingly, when the sounds were played, deer were spotted by trains 7.5 times every 100 kilometers (62 miles), an impressive 45 percent reduction in sightings.
Collisions caused by deer have been a huge issue in Japan, causing not only delays, but the deaths of animals too. In fact, in 2016 there were 613 incidents where trains were either temporarily suspended or delayed due to deer.
It’s been previously reported that one of the reasons why deer find themselves straying near the railway lines is that they lick the tracks to get more iron into their diet.
In the past, various approaches have been trialed to help keep the animals away from the tracks. Deterrents have included ropes, red lights, and even lion feces, but none of them seemed to work.
“If our new contraption works, that will obviate the need for installing anti-trespass facilities at many locations,” an official from RTRI told Japanese newspaper The Asahi Shimbun. “We hope to finish it into a system that works in mountainous areas and elsewhere so railroad companies will want to introduce it.”
Researchers have modeled how a zombie outbreak would spread across the US.
Big cities would be particularly dangerous places to be at the start; isolated regions in the mountains would be relatively safe.
These sorts of models are the same ones that researchers use to understand real diseases.
If — or when — the zombie apocalypse comes, those of us in big cities are in trouble, according to research presented at the American Physical Society March meeting on March 5, 2015.
Starting in a big city like New York or Atlanta means you are basically screwed from the start in the event of a zombie epidemic there, according to Alex Alemi, a graduate student at Cornell University who was part of the research team.
You are much better off starting farther away from people, they say, which gives you a better chance of avoiding infection. Ideally, you’d escape to an almost empty region like the Rocky Mountains.
“I’d love to see a fictional account where most of New York City falls in a day, but upstate New York has a month or so to prepare,” Alemi said in the APS press release.
Authentic disease modeling
Alemi and colleagues used standard disease models to estimate the zombie infection rate around the US, assuming humans would need to be infected by a zombie bite (of course). Also following standard protocol, zombies travel only by walking and wouldn’t die naturally but would need to be “killed,” presumably with a well-placed blow to the head.
Essentially, they used a realistic model that’s very similar to the way epidemiologists calculate the spread of other viruses, but using fictional parameters unique to zombies. They did make some assumptions, including a transportation infrastructure collapse. It’s hard to imagine airports staying operational for long in such a scenario.
The Rockies are the safest place to be in this fictional scenario — sparsely populated and difficult to reach.
And big population centers are the worst place to start the outbreak. About 28 days later (coincidence?), they become safer as the areas that surround them become more dangerous.
Though of course, as Terrence McCoy pointed out at The Washington Post, if a large percentage of the population flooded any area, the risk of infection there would skyrocket.
The statistical research was inspired by a reading of Max Brooks’ “World War Z,” a book that is better than the movie that was based on it.
How it works
Alemi and coauthors modeled out the population centers of the country and then assumed certain possible interactions, with an element of randomness. A zombie might bite and infect a human or the person might escape or kill the creature. And of course, the undead shamble onward.
Also, in reality, an outbreak probably wouldn’t start all over the country, and there are some variables. The undead might be more or less aggressive or more or less mobile.
So the research team built an interactive model that allows you to simulate an outbreak, picking a starting point, a zombie-bite to zombie-kill ratio, and whether the zombies are fast or slow.
As you can see in the GIF below, a fast-zombie outbreak in New York City would be devastating within 24 hours.
Not looking good. More complex variables would be interesting, though.
“Given the time, we could attempt to add more complicated social dynamics to the simulation, such as allowing people to make a run for it, include plane flights, or have an awareness of the zombie outbreak, etc.,” Alemi said in the press release.
While zombie scenarios might seem like something a bit silly for researchers to spend time on, public health researchers tend to like these sorts of scenarios since they help educate people on how diseases spread. The CDC even maintains a “Zombie Preparedness” page.
Physicists seemed to want to be prepared. The talk was reportedly standing-room only.
This story was originally published in 2015.
Read next on Business Insider: A study has finally shown that people really do love dogs more than other humans
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.